Problem? what Problem?

would that it were this easy, but ...

"...The problem is all inside your head, she said to me..." (thank you Paul Simon)

And she was right.

A lot of the time we're just bowling along in life, feeling OK, no problems, everything going according to plan.  And then something happens to upset the apple-cart.  And then maybe something else follows, a bit too quickly afterwards... and then ... that "fine"-marker moves - without us really noticing.  

What happens then, when the next difficulties arises, is that we start reacting to it from a new starting point ... the anxiety levels have risen, but we don't really notice ... we start to worry ourselves into ridiculous states of tension, our tummies tighten into a constant knot, our activity levels rise, we keep busy to keep the worries and fears at bay, we stop sleeping well, eating well, we find ourselves feeling guilty about things we don't need to feel guilty about, stressing over things that may never happen.... that low-level state of tension (which isn't actually very low anymore) has become our new "normality" ... and so it goes on ...  rising and rising, til finally we pop!

I popped. 

It took 2 illnesses to realise I'd driven myself into the ground - with my eyes firmly closed, like a manic little mole.  And I'm only just beginning to surface. 

Meditation has been my greatest saviour.  I'm not there yet, but I'm definitely on my way.  So when stress hits me again I do a bit of this:  

But, I'm discovering now, through some different meditation exercises, that even these unpleasant moments can be conquered, (more of this later) 

~ ~ ~

To be honest I can't quite believe I'm saying (or writing) this ... I'm not a knit-your-own-yogurt type, or a born-again-guru-worshiper, but I have just discovered some fabulously effective techniques: secular, sane, sound, sensible - and they work. 

As many other people are finding now too.   

"Having recognised the health and cost benefits (of mindfulness therapy) some NHS trusts (in the UK) accept self-referrals, others accept referrals via GP's. The UK Mental Health Foundation, which has produced a list of some of the NHS-funded courses, estimates that as many as 30% of GP's now refer patients to mindfulness training". (Mia Hansson - The Guardian)

Its assumed that Mindfulness is part of Buddhist teaching, but although many of the exercises/techniques are rooted in Buddhism, the two are not interdependent. 

"Mindfulness is an aid to enhancing human potential by combining modern science with ancient wisdom" (The Oxford Mindfulness center)

Quick nap... ('cos its night, not cos I'm stressed - I don't think)

~ ~ ~

Nice clear morning (bloody long nap that)  

So where was I?  Oh yes, Problems...

Did you know that only 10% of our stress is due to what happens, the other 90 is due to how we think about what happens, past, present and future. 

More bonkers than that though, is the fact that a lot of our stress can actually be caused by things that don't actually exist.

Sculpture by Kate Newlyn http://www.katenewlyn.com/

Now that's just silly.

Time to learn how to return to base.

~ ~ ~

For more images of sculptures and details on Sculpture Courses go to: http://www.katenewlyn.com/

Today - a simple exercise in how to get there

And its turning into mine too!

Here's a simple intro on how to make it yours as well:

(By the way, don't be put off by the idea of "Meditating", this is a really simple exercise in quietening an unruly, ever-present, babbling mind - helping to get from Mind-full to Mindful)

1) Set aside a time when you know you won't be interrupted, turn off the phone, close the lap-top ('n' gerroff Facebook for a min).

2) Sit however is comfortable for you, it doesn't need to be X-legged, a chair is fine.  But sit with a straight back (straight, rather than rigid), the idea is to remain comfortable but attentive. 

3) Close your eyes and observe your breathing just as it is.  No need to change anything, just observe, becoming aware of your breath coming in and going out.  Keep your focus on each breath.

4) Thoughts will try to get in and take your attention - don't let that worry you.  Observe them and then let them go.  

5) When you've let them go, place your attention again on each breath. 

It doesn't matter how many thoughts come, as long as you let them go.  Its the practicing of this "letting go" that's the focus of this exercise. Be gentle with your thoughts, don't fight them, (they're very good friends of yours - more of this later).  Just observe that they've arrived - and they will, in droves - then ask them to come back later. 

6) Practice this for just a few minutes to start with, then increase it to 5 mins. 

And that's all there is to it. 

To start with, any more than 5 mins is making quite a commitment time-wise in a busy life, so leave it at just 5 for now.  Later on, when you see just how incredible this simple exercise is, you'll want to make, rather than just find the time, and you can increase it then to however long you want.

And then you can add all sorts of variations ... this one's just the beginning.

~ ~ ~

My thanks and credit for this exercise goes to my wonderful teacher: Bryony Duggen and to the helpful book a friend of mine bought for me recently called "The little Book of Mindfulness" Edited by Tiddy Rowan.  Credit also goes to my lovely Buddhist friend Jessica Wilker, who's written a book called "The ABC of Mindfulness" http://www.jessicawilker.com/).  Its a great little book too, I read a draft of it years ago, before it was published, but before I started to get interested in meditation.  I'm resisting the temptation to re-read it for now though, as its more important, at the moment, for me to be guided on a one-to-one basis by my teacher.  I can recommend it highly though!
If you want to see some of the sculptures which key into these ideas too, go to the Figurative Sculpture and Exhibitions sections on my website http://www.katenewlyn.com/

Realizations

I think I'm beginning to really feel the benefits of Meditation now.  And to understand the simplicity/complexity of it all.

 

Seems so simple, this notion that pain may actually be just thoughts, but its an invisible sink-hole and one I've fallen into for many years.  Discovering just how much now.

We get sucked in by our thoughts/minds and the whole caboodle gets mangled up with feelings/emotions.  From this indigestible soup a hideous concoction of incomprehensible blabber feeds back to our minds and its this, that then directs our actions, decisions and our lives ... its no wonder we can't find a way out.

Our reactions become habitual and, over time, so deeply ingrained that its nothing short of a massive effort to sort it all out.

For me it took an illness or two, but I'm now actually beginning to feel grateful to both the cancer and the MS for this (grateful as well as frustrated, angry, frightened n all that stuff too - I ain't no hero!)  

But I am completely grateful to our fabulous NHS and Macmillan for funding my meditation training, and above all, grateful to the gifted and lovely counselor who's teaching me.

Its a life-changer

From this:

As well as this: 

To THIS:

For me its not the "being alone" that's the issue, (far from it, I really like being single) its the getting tangled up in those blinkin' thoughts and allowing them to dictate/control my feelings - as it is for many other people too, I have no doubt.

But just look at the expression on the face of this little boy - this is how I'm beginning to feel now when I successfully manage to take some distance from the flow of habitual thoughts and back into the Now.  

Its a slow process and, at present, I can only catch a few moments of this bliss, (among others of frustration of course), but with practice ...

~ ~ ~

The other thing is, I can see how this is going to affect my Art too...

I want to become that empty vessel, like the "Now" sculpture. 

     "...A condition of complete simplicity..." (T.S. Elliot)

And into that vessel ideas can settle and find expression.

"Now" by Kate Newlyn 1999 

"We shape the clay into a pot, but it is the 

emptiness inside that holds whatever we want"

Lao Tzu

~ ~ ~

The 3 sculptures on this page can be viewed on my website:

http://www.katenewlyn.com/

~ ~ ~

One of the most important ideas my meditation teacher's passed on to me is that the mind is actually one's friend... flies in the face of all I've written on today's post but it gives a whole new dimension and helps massively.

...more on this later, the sun's out and I want to sit out on the patio and have a coffee... 

Why I make Art

"To See the World in a Grain of Sand ... 

Eternity in an Hour"

(From Auguries of Innocence by William Blake)

I made this last year, after recovering from surgery for breast cancer.

Suddenly I was confronted with my own mortality - a shocking experience we'll all face - but strangely liberating too.  

The little things didn't seem important anymore.   Time was the essence here, essentially: how much we have.

And then it occurred to me (or I remembered) that, actually, it IS the little things that are important. The length of time we live doesn't matter because we only ever live in a series of Now's. Its the quality of that life that matters.

Quality that's made up of all sorts of choices:
How we've chosen to individually deal with the immediate problems and challenges in our lives, how much we've cared for our loved ones and our fellow human beings, as well as the other animals we share the planet with and, of course, the planet itself.  

The little things suddenly became the big things.  And it wasn't a never-ending list, it was actually very simple.

Dalai Lama 

I was connecting my experience of cancer/mortality with that of my sister Sally who, 14 years ago didn't survive it.  This sculpture is my tribute to Sally, a way I could connect with her and my own version of her commission: "Now".

(See the first post I wrote on this blog for details on Sally's sculpture).

* * *

There was no thinking involved in making this sculpture, it was an image which emerged from somewhere inside and asked to be made.  
As a sculptor I just did what I was told. 

  

It wouldn't be for another year though that I'd discover the thinking behind Buddhism...

Confronted again with another health issue this year - the beginnings of Multiple Sclerosis -  I was referred, not only to the wonderful Neurology Department of my local Hospital, but also to a specialist counselor who has begun to teach me the basics of Mindfulness Meditation.  

...And this is why I started this Blog, to record what I learn and the work I make from this new perspective.

Thankfully my MS is manageable and I will still be able to sculpt (and teach) so there'll be new sculptures emerging now. 

Oh, and I think I forgot to say: I'm happy.  For lots of reasons: I've discovered a new way of seeing the world and there's less panic in it, less pressure, less worry, more beauty, more kindness, more of everything nice! I'm suddenly much more grateful for things - the NHS being extremely high on my gratitude list - but grateful too for small kindnesses from friends and strangers alike, I'm watching the spring emerge like I've never seen it before and images like this really affect me.  

 Odd.  Such a change - who'd have thought that 2 serious illnesses can make one actually happy.  All very odd, but I'm certainly not complaining! 

Keep an eye on the Exhibitions page of my website, where I'll be posting some pics of works-in-Progress.  Website address:  www.katenewlyn.com 

How Meditation helps

"There's neither Heaven nor Hell but thinking makes it so"

A poorly paraphrased quote from Hamlet but it gets to the heart of it.  And how we see the world is at the heART of Art.  

One of the wonderful things about Art I reckon is that its evidence of how different we all are, that we see life and the world from our own perspectives. But if that perspective is blurred by a constant babble of judgmental voices in our heads, an incessant white noise we've forgotten how to turn off, blocked by guilt, regret, sadness, fears that force us to act in automatic self-preservation ways ... how do we know who we are? how can we think/see straight?

By re-training our minds to shut the f*** up, through Meditation.

Its not about any God, or "Positive thinking" - (tho' I do like this image:)

Its about observing thoughts, emotions, fears with Mindfulness, allowing them to come but not allowing ourselves to be swept away by them.  Welcoming them, observing them, then setting them aside and returning to a state of neutrality - the Now.

Its about being Mindful not Mind-full

In this state we can find out how we really are, who we are, and who we want to be.  We can see the past we've lived and the future we want to live. We can choose - and change - but above all: we can SEE.

And its from this knowledge that we can describe the important things.

From the heArt comes Art.

unless, of course:

Work along these sorts of lines can be seen in the Figurative Sculpture section of my website: www.katenewlyn.com